Fat Pants and Other Strange Side Effects of the Covid-19 Outbreak
Two days ago, I decided my husband deserved something better to look at than a woman with flat hair and no makeup, lounging around in either pajamas or sweats. I jumped into the shower before noon, miraculously. I applied a little makeup and even did my hair. I decided to wear some real clothes for a change, but I also wanted to be comfortable so I slipped on a pair of my fat jeans. To my dismal surprise, they weren’t that easy to zip up! Yikes!!!
Covid-19 is a deadly disease sweeping the globe, leaving trails of devastation in its wake. It not only kills people, but sickens the global economy. These are serious outcomes of the outbreak for sure, but there are also some weird side effects. The ensuing unprecedented worldwide quarantine has flipped us into a bizarre, unknown life, almost overnight in some places. It may be flattening the curve on Covid-19, but it’s sparked an outbreak of cabin fever in epoch proportions. And cabin fever has some seriously strange side effects.
Fat Pants—often a result of bored or stress eating coupled with fewer opportunities to burn off excess calories. A contributing factor, in my case, is having a high energy husband pacing the house like a caged animal looking for something to do. He’s been working from home for nearly a month in a state with strict sheltering in place restrictions and work has been a bit slower, unfortunately. He’s been working around the house a lot which is great, but he’s also taken up some new hobbies; one of which is learning how to bake artisan bread. One of his friends had the nerve of posting a wonderful recipe for it on Facebook. My husband has been experimenting with it, baking loaf after loaf of delicious rounds, ever since—hence the fat pants.
Shortages of basic goods (but weird ones like toilet paper)—a couple of weeks ago, my sister who lives in Phoenix, Arizona contacted me. An old friend of hers from high school messaged her and asked if she would ship some toilet paper to her in Tacoma, Washington. This woman was a single mother trying to raise her own children (one with special needs) and a couple of grandchildren on her own and she couldn’t find toilet paper to buy anywhere. She was thinking, since the virus hadn’t taken hold in Arizona yet, it would be more available there. The problem was that Phoenix had a shortage of toilet paper too. From the moment the pandemic hit US soil, it sparked panic and pandemonium everywhere. Since I don’t live too far from Tacoma, my sister asked me if I had any extra. I just happened to have some on hand, since I usually buy it in bulk at Costco. My sister asked if I would mind dropping some off to her, so my husband and I drove forty minutes away to Tacoma to deliver twelve rolls of TP to a grateful woman we had never met nor heard of before. One of the strangest things we’ve ever done, for sure.
Disruption or lack of routine—since I’m a writer, working from home isn’t new for me, but this quarantine has definitely changed my routine. I’m used to working in a solitary bubble, but now I’m sharing it with someone else—someone who doesn’t know how to function inside the bubble, someone trying to claw his way out of it. I’m ashamed to admit that staying in my PJs until late in the afternoon is a regular thing for me. I stop writing, jump in the shower, tidy up the house, and start dinner before my husband gets home from work. But now my charade is over. Although he’s been suspicious for quite a while, now he knows my dirty little secret. Even worse, he’s joined me on the dark side. Neither one of us puts on real clothes much anymore.
Breakdown in personal hygiene—this goes with the disruption in routine. Since we don’t have a reason to get dressed and go anywhere, because there aren’t many places we’re allowed to go, we also forget to shower as often. And sometimes we’re shocked to realize we haven’t brushed our teeth the entire day either (hopefully our dentist isn’t reading this). Now we have to make a conscientious effort to remember to do things like brush our teeth and shower, when before, they were just routine.
Lost sense of time—the days seem to be running together. We have to ask each other what day it is quite often. It’s like we’ve been shipwrecked. If it wasn’t for our electronic devices telling us what day it is, we’d have to scratch notches on the wall everyday.
News addiction—we don’t like it, but we still need our fix of constant updates and statistics, even if it makes us feel worse in the end. It’s also a concentration killer, making it hard to do anything like work or even read a simple book.
It’s not all bad though. There are some surprisingly beneficial side effects too. Think of it as a cosmic reset button. Many things we thought were so important before have slipped down the priority list. Our hectic, chaotic lives have ground to a screeching halt. We now know that children can continue to thrive without exhausting schedules of sports and lessons. Men (and women) can continue to live and breathe without professional sporting events to watch. Fewer opportunities for shopping and the need to cook most meals from scratch can save a family a lot of money.
A better understanding of what is truly meaningful is a valuable side effect of the pandemic. Having to protect the elderly and those with compromised immunity has become a priority for most of us since we all have people in our lives like that. We realize how much we love them and how small the price of quarantine is if it means keeping them alive.
Separation from our friends and family has made them more precious to us and we appreciate them more, hopefully. We value connection more with the emptiness of isolation. Since we can’t literally reach out, we have to do it digitally. I’ve noticed the tone of social media posts has changed a little since the outbreak. People are sending wishes of safety and wellbeing, sharing helpful information and tips, and posting about activities they are doing at home with their children instead of showcasing themselves, the sandwich they’re eating for lunch, or their enviable trips. Hopefully this will continue to mean more relevant and less boring posts in the future.
In the past, I’ve worried about what it will be like when my husband retires someday. Since we’ve spent more time together during this quarantine than any other time in our entire thirty-four-year marriage, now I know. And it’s no longer a worry because I’ve discovered that I like him even more than I thought I did. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve had a few dicey moments during the past few weeks, but I’m still going to miss him when he goes back to the office to work. On that same note, I know he really likes me too. He loves me for me—fat pants and all.
Some people say that Easter will be cancelled this year, but for those who truly believe in Jesus Christ, it won’t be. It’s not about Easter egg hunts, candy, or expensive baskets of commercial goods. It’s about the love one man has for each of us and how it was manifested in the most painful and difficult sacrifice in the world’s history. He gave himself to satisfy the law of justice by the law of mercy, allowing us to wake up every morning and turn over a fresh leaf if we choose to. It also means we can let go and allow others to do the same.
I sincerely hope you and your loved ones stay safe and well, but if anyone out there reading this has lost someone because of the Coronavirus, I’m so very sorry. I hope you find some comfort and peace and know that you’re not alone.
Staying connected is very important during this crazy, uncertain time and it’s good to remind one another that we are going through some of the same things. I would absolutely love to hear about the annoying, sad, meaningful, sweet, and even bizarre side effects you’ve experienced because of this outbreak. Please share your stories in the comments below.
Photo by Khusen Rustamov