10 Ways to Turn a Man to Butter
I was looking for something on the internet this morning when I came across an interesting article posted on a blog. It was unrelated to what I was originally searching for, but it captured my attention since I’ve been married to a man for the past thirty-four years. It was called, “6 Kinds of Compliments Men Would Love to Hear More Often,” by Jordan Gray. He’s a relationship coach and author of several best selling books.
In this day and age a lot of focus is on women’s rights and abuse, and rightfully so, but in the process, a fair amount of man bashing also takes place. We can’t forget that men are feeling human beings who bleed like all people and they need to be praised and appreciated just as much as women do. The article prompted me to do a brief search on the subject and I was presented with a plethora of sites.
Here’s a quick rundown of compliments to melt the man in your life into butter:
Let him know you have faith in him and believe in him.
Compliment him on his appearance or style.
Tell him how handsome he is. Be specific about what makes him physically attractive to you.
Tell him how much you appreciate his efforts, whether it’s taking out the garbage or listening attentively to you.
Let him know how much you respect him as a person. You can be specific, like telling him you love how forgiving he is.
Let him know you trust in his ability to lead in whatever capacity he has the opportunity to be a leader.
Let him know the effect he has on you. Does he make you go weak in the knees? Does he make you feel confident and like you can do anything (my husband does)?
Reinforce good behavior. Instead of just nagging a man about all the ways he falls short, start talking about all the things he does right.
Compliment him on his intelligence. Let him know when you think he’s done or said something smart.
One of the most important ways to compliment your man is to let him know the reasons why you think he’s a great partner.
These are just a few of the ways you can build up the men in your life, of course. And each compliment must be sincere and true.
In my book, Outrunning the Devil, the main character, Laura, is very innocent and naive. Her father was an incredibly supportive, but also an overprotective man. He worked hard to keep her very sheltered during high school. Afterwards, she ended up attending a university near where she grew up to help care for her sick mother during the years she underwent cancer treatment. Subsequently, she had very little experience with men by the time she had to flee for her life to the opposite side of the country to live with Nick, a man whom she’d never met before, ten years her senior.
For the first two weeks she lived with him, she was not beautiful. She had been in a terrible car accident that was intentionally set in motion. She was also shellshocked, depressed, and agoraphobic, reclusive even. She ended up on his doorstep with few clothes, all of which were baggy and shapeless. Although she was ordinarily pretty, her purple, swollen face, her partially shaved head revealing a nasty head wound, and her broken arm masked her true appearance. However, soon after she arrived, despite how awful she looked, she captured his heart.
Laura was a natural at making Nick feel good about himself. She was a kind, caring person by nature, which is why he fell in love with her so quickly even though she still looked hideous. We would all do well to remember that at the center of every person, man or woman, is a tender, feeling heart, vulnerable to harsh words and unspoken appreciation, no matter how high or how thick the walls are they build around themselves to protect it.
